Emotional distress is difficult enough to deal with in divorce, but a pattern of dysfunction exacerbates the turmoil.
When an argument begins, leave. Just get out. If you lost your temper it may be from button-pushing: some comment or gesture, perhaps deliberate, that predictably triggered an emotional response over which you felt no control. After you have restored your sense of calm, think back to the conversation and play it back like a video. When you get to where you lost your temper, reverse the memory video. The remark or gesture the other person did immediately before you lost your temper was them pushing your button. Be on the look-out for that trigger in future conversations. You have a microsecond to choose not to react, and thereby disconnect your buttons.
Larry Chamberlin earned his Juris Doctor from Tulane Law School, where he was elected to the National Order of Barristers in 1988. He received a Masters of Arts in International Business Management at the University of Texas at Dallas. He is also Board Certified in Family Law, a member of Mensa and in 2006 while in the Juvenile Forensic Psychology Masters program, he was elected to Psi Chi, the prestigious psychology honor society.
© 24 June 2020 Larry Chamberlin, Chamberlin Law & Mediation
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